Friday, May 4, 2012

An eraser please...

Im having a hard time tonight. It's one of those nights where every little thing morphs into a huge deal and the one idea that is playing a freaking marching ban symphony in my head right now? That I will never talk to Dr X again.

I will never truly know what is going on in his life (you can only gather and then catastrophise so much from Facebook stalking). Conversely, he will never know what's going on in mine. I didn't get to call him up and share the excitement / fear of starting a new job. I don't get to hear about his dog, or his brother, or if he ever did work at the ski hill this winter.

It's been too long since we last talked (last text: January 3 2012) so I can't drop him a casual email, plus I'm not even sure I am healed enough.

Then my mind jumps to the question, how do I get there? Is the reason I am holding on to him because I still love him? Would I take him back a second time I I ever had the chance. The answers to those questions just make me feel like I haven't made any progress.

How can I erase him like he has erased me?
Hyper Smash