Friday, February 8, 2013

A year?

I've been thinking about this a lot the past week. It's been over a year since I started fixing myself again and right now I'm pretty discouraged. It feels like I haven't done anything! I am still living at home, still partially employees with the school board but not actually teaching, and single (granted that last one I don't really care too much about changing).

These negative thoughts are emphasized as my sister prepares to travel Africa (jealous!), one of my best friends prepares to propose to his gf (happy but why is he growing up without me), and how I cant find a friend to move out with next fall bc everyone already has!

Gah!

But, those are the negative thoughts and I need to remind myself of the progress I've made and not think so "disastrously" as my therapist used to say.

So, here's a list of how things are different / better right now:

1. paid off my Student Loan. Now the money I make is actually MINE (well...after I pay my parents back for some dental work I had last fall)

2. Stopped going to Therapy. I haven't felt the need to go see my therapist an talk about things because nothing has seemed as insurmountable as it did before. Even though I'm still on meds, I am also trying light therapy to help with my downs. Big improvement.

3. My family is healthy. I am so grateful to have them.

4. We got a PUPPY. My parents bought a new dog: a border collie/Australian Shepard/ scotch collie mix name Lucy. I am already hopelessly in love with her ad since I don't work much, I am her favourite bc I'm always around!

5. I will be back to WCC in the summer, trip unknown right now. I'm also going to a music festival put on by Mumford and sons in August. So I do have some things to look forward to.

It's just frustrating because sometimes these positive things seem so much more insignificant than my negative ones. However if you do compare me to last year, I am a helluva lot better.



Hyper Smash