Friday, January 17, 2014

Friendship Blues

No matter how I cut it, I still have low confidence when it comes to my friendships. But why? It doesn't make sense! I know that I have friends, I know that I am well-liked. So why do I feel so insecure sometimes?

If I get left out of something, I take it personally. I know I shouldn't. I know that sometimes people just forget you. But it still hurts me. Sometimes I feel too much and feel too strongly and it doesn't jibe with the way the rest of the world works.

I lost almost all of my university friends when I broke up with my university boyfriend after I graduated. That was incredibly hard to deal with, but I moved on. I've grown further and further away from my teacher's college friends who I thought I had the strongest connections with. They seem to all remain friends while I am on the outskirts because I lived in England and missed some cottage weekends because of it. Or maybe they just don't like me and I did something to offend them. OR MAYBE IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.

I've grown further apart from my best friend over the past year. It seems like since we've come home from living abroad, we don't have as much in common. I like to be social, she prefers to stay home. I'm single, she's in a committed relationship with plans of marriage and babies in her future. I'm just trying to learn how to move out of my parents place!

I guess I just miss having a strong group of friends. My time in teacher's college was amazing because I finally found a group of people that I got along with and had the same mentality/interests as I did. Then in England, I had a strong best-friend-forever relationship because we were all we had. Now I don't have those friendships. Sure, I have friends, but it feels like no one is on the same page as me. Everyone wants marriage and babies and no one wants to travel anymore.

I guess I'm in a self-pitying mood today. I stumbled back on this old blog and decided to post something. At least I'm not as upset about Dr. X anymore, nor am I on any medications right now. Those are things that have improved.

I wish there was a POF for just finding new friends.

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