Sunday, June 24, 2012

Facebook, the devil.

 I saw on his facebook that he is in a new relationship and it re-opened everything. I think I am almost at the point where I will delete him. I know that everyone says I should have deleted him earlier but I wasn't able to... yet. I will get there. If I am truthfully honest, I wanted to keep him as a friend so that he could see that I was having fun and he would get jealous and want me back. That he could see what he was missing. But it backfired on me and instead, that is what I saw on his page.

Here is my potential letter to him if I decide to delete him off facebook. I don't want to just delete him without saying anything.....

It has been almost six months since we last talked. That has not been because I haven't wanted to, but because I knew you didn't want me to.

I am past
the stage of wanting and needing to know why. Of trying to figure out how I could have changed things, how if I had tried harder and not been so jealous, or of why you didn't love me anymore.

A huge part of my heart still belongs to you and always will. We fell in love quickly and with unfortunate timing. But despite everything, I still love you and always will. As cheesy as this may sound, but if somewhere in our futures we meet again, maybe it will be right then.

All I know is that it is killing me seeing things on facebook about you moving on. Getting a new job in Halifax when you were so adamant about not leaving the one you had in the fall. Getting into a new relationship when I am still trying to imagine you not in my life. I don't fault you for any of those things, it just re opens my wounds every time I see them. So right now in order to help me heal, I am going to have to delete you off facebook. I didn't want to just delete you and be done with it. I don't think you deserve that. I hope that in a few more months, I can re-add you. That it won't hurt as much to see you in a new relationship or with pictures of her or whatever. I really truly hope that I can get to the spot you are at. Where you don't think of me or seem upset about us at all and have moved on.

I love you and hope you are doing well.

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