Friday, February 3, 2012

26 and Lost.

I am not a special girl. There are no distinguishing features that make me stand apart from most others my age. I am neither wealthy nor poor. I have led a comfortable life with a family full of love and friends across the globe. I went to university, got a degree, and lived abroad. Why then, could such an average middle class girl, feel so hopelessly lost and alone.

I find it kind of selfish, to think that the problems and heartache I feel in my life are so significant that it is worth writing about or even yet, worth reading about. But I have always been one to analyze and explain my feelings. Perhaps by writing this down, it can help me get through things and return to that enduring cliché of “my old self”. It may be the catharsis I need. Perhaps by sharing it with others, it will help them feel connected to me, to understand that they are not alone, or to hell, even be entertained. Grief works wonders in creating masterpieces, maybe my story will be mine.

So please bear with me and know that I do realize I have been dealt some good cards in life and that I am not in the worst possible situation ever. But at this moment in time, my future is a haze of uncertainty and negative thoughts. I am 26 years old and lost.


  1. greetings from PA. your life is interesting. You have alot going for you. And still, you have entered the 'no fly zone' for awhile. I belong to DF also. Jupiter I go by. how could one depressed person, me, give you advise. I can't. But I can relate to how you feel. Been on meds for over 10 yeasrs now. I accept them. I was doing the best in the longest time when we had to put my mother on hospice. She passed. Anyway I felt like I had nothing inside. I play guitar in our praise band, taking a course in photography, and enjoy morse code in ham radio. These hobbies didn't mean to much to me after the passing. All I did was try to read spiritual things. It was tough. I questioned everythng, all my beliefs. I kept reading. now there is alittle haze left from mom's passing. There are times when I see the futility in everything, and I am not suicidal. I just see this world and people for what they are, really. So, take stock in whatever friends you have, yes, thats simple, or is it. Oh here is a tough one. I am trying to be grateful for the clothes on my back, the food I eat, and the warm house I sleep in. Simple, basic things. Thats all I need right now. And I keep reading.....thanks for letting me write on your blog. You may write me if you want. I wish you strenght.

  2. Hi twitchy, Your blog was a good and well written read. The fact that it was so varied and interesting makes me think that you live a healthy and full life. Of course I'm only making assumptions here and I don't know anything really about your past(I'm not saying I could help even if I did). But I do think that whilst heartbreak is probably the most aggressive of all forms of sadness, it is usually the most short lived. Obviously you cannot simply forget this man at will, it will take time, but shutting yourself away is probably the only sure way to make sure that you will be thinking about him. The longer you shut yourself away the longer it will be before you have any fresh fun memories to think about instead.

    Sir_Prizes (DF)


    Have fun skiing and remember the more you suck at it the funnier the stories will be when you get back home.


Hyper Smash