Wednesday, February 22, 2012


"yet" is the word i have to start saying more. I am not happy...yet. I have no motivation... Yet. I am defnity not over him, yet.

It's hard to let him go. I write here because I am afraid my friends will get sick of me missing him or being upset.

That's what everyone says I need to do. He broke up with me. He didnt want to try. I have no say. I know I can't make him love me or make him see what I saw in us.

I saw a future. I saw kids and marriage and relaxing on a porch. I saw family vacations and growing old together. I saw fantastic sex, passion and love.

How do I stop feeling like this? God, if I could just find other men attractive. If I could go on dates or flirt or just... Give up. I am a fighter, it's so hard for me to just lay down and accept defeat.... Even though I know I need to.

I know everyone says it will just take time. How much time! It's been three months and he hasn't tried to contact me. That should give me a kick in the pants! I am that easily pushed out of his mind. I am not important to someone who I love so strongly despite all the pain and bullshit he put(s) me through.

I am not over him....


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