The first time you bring your parents to meet your therapist is much akin to the first time you bring a new boyfriend 'round the house. You are nervous that they won't get along, or that one or the other will say something that the other doesn't agree with.... You're nervous about sharing a personal relationship - that of both your parents and of your therapist.
But tonight, I did just that.
My dad has been having a hard time dealing with my depression. He doesn't do well with me crying. IN fact, he says it makes him frustrated and angry at me for not being able to restrain my emotions. Both him and my mom have a hard time understanding why I don't just GET OVER IT ALREADY. So, my therapist suggested that I bring them to a session.
I was very anxious before hand and a little uncomfortable during. It was bad timing as it was just after one of my dad's work shifts (he's a firefighter) so he was super cranky (he's always kind of an asshole when he's tired/stressed)... so he wasn't in the most responsive of moods. BUT he DID come and I really do appreciate and know that he cares about me, he just doesn't deal with me in the most productive way sometimes.
One thing that was interesting that came up was that my therapist pointed out how similar myself and my father are. We are both emotional, logical people. We sometimes are stubborn in our beliefs and we both have emotional outbursts. Its HOW we outburst that is different and causes so much tension. He yells and I cry and we can't understand each others reactions. This apparently "wasn't news" to my dad, but I think he may have been a bit defensive. My therapist also said that he'd benefit from some sessions and that definitely ruffled my dad's feathers. My mom said she liked the session but it was mostly focused on him and me. Maybe I should take them back a second time later on.
The car ride home was a lot of me trying to expand on my therapists points, but my dad not understanding / agreeing with it. I'm not sad or upset by the whole experience, i just felt that we didn't reach any sort of huge father/daughter hugging breakthrough.
But I guess some progress is any progress right? Maybe my dad has a little bit of a better insight into what's going on, even if he doesn't respect / understand my anxiety or ways of coping.
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